Community, freedom, government, Leadership, Love, peace, Social problems, Uncategorized

“Uprising”

Photo: Freepik.com

Parenting a little one fooled me into thinking I could control other people. Putting a cranky toddler in his cot and closing the door felt good. A “prison” of sorts where I could stand guard outside, rostering mealtimes and rationing information. I was powerful. Strong. Loud from my soap box of grown up answers.

I was a master at eliciting compliance, “making him behave.” Commands like “use your manners” and “sit up straight” or “look them in the eyes” came naturally. Phrases like, “This is a dictatorship, not a democracy” flew out of my mouth on the heels of back-talk. Corporal punishment, (used sparingly and this was the early 2000’s so don’t judge me), meant using physical force to get the behaviour I expected.

It worked for the most part: threaten, demand, restrain.

Whatever means necessary to get the desired outcome.

By the age of about 12 or 13, my eldest started showing signs of disagreement, his own opinions, at times even daring to point out my own hypocrisy and flaws. The earth began to move under my feet. I felt the skin on my hands rip open as the tight leash I clung to was torn away by a teenager on a mission. He was on a hot pursuit to assert himself, to be heard, to try out his own voice, apart from the soundtracks I’d been playing. What I felt was firmly in tact one day began to fray around the edges, influenced by puberty and pimples. Muscles and height. An outward strength coupled with an even greater inner resolve to buck against my kingdom.

He had his own will and determination to use it. In many ways, he had escaped my grasp. If he wanted to deceive me or disobey, he could. I almost crumbled with this newfound information. It splattered across my life each and every day like a late night re-run and I couldn’t change the channel. I couldn’t fit either of us back in our boxes – me in my narrow-minded ‘think tank’ and him in his ‘bedroom with a toddler bed and too high door knobs.’

A different approach was needed.

I came across a great resource identifying what I already knew but didn’t have words to explain. What I desired most as a mother was a heart to heart connection with my son. The freedom I experience as an adult with my own free will is a gift; and, rather than controlling this soon-to-be-man, I realised I had to model and direct him to control himself in a manner worthy of respect. Ultimately, it was on him.

As I watch what’s happening in my home country with the Black Lives Matter movement, protests and riots across every major city, and the subsequent responses of the President, other politicians and pundits, movie stars, academics… (everyone seems to have something to say), I see parallels with my parenting journey.

Threatening people with rubber bullets, tear gas, military intervention and handcuffs reminds me of the ’18-years-ago-new-parent-me’ who had a lot to learn. Power players who shout “law and order will prevail” erect walls between the two sides. One is subservient to the ruler but only for a matter of time.

What does anyone gain if neither side captures each other’s hearts?

In the words of Stephen Covey, “we must first seek to understand before being understood if we want to be a highly effective person.” A great leader always seeks to understand.
A heart to heart connection with those we lead is priceless. Kinship before compliance. Two open ears will always trump one open mouth.

If the aim is obedience at the expense of relationship, then a dictatorship is a great way to run a family. Elect power hungry tyrants to lead a country. A fool believes that “good behaviour” equals progress. I would much rather have a loving relationship with my son than strict obedience to my laws if I had to choose between them. Submission with seething anger below the surface is like a ticking time bomb.

“So I give you now a new commandment: Love each other just as much as I have loved you. For when you demonstrate the same love I have for you by loving one another, everyone will know that you’re my true followers.”

John 13:34-35 (TPT)
Contentment, Fasting, Inspiration, Leadership, Prayer, Uncategorized

Day 14: “Leaders”

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

Romans 13:1-2 (NIV)

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been criticised for the way he has handled the national bushfire crisis in Australia. The American President Donald Trump is consistently called a racist for his stance on illegal immigration. Your boss is gossiped about in the workroom or at after hour drinks for her recent decisions around the office. Mums are criticising teachers and administration on the playground for how they handled the recent bullying complaints at school.

If you’re in a position of authority, chances are, someone is out to slander you too. They might not be overtly blogging about you on the Internet but somewhere, they are talking about the “poor decision you made,” how you don’t know what you’re doing, and how they would do things differently if they were in charge. This is the price of leadership.

No one in a position of leadership is perfect. Managers, Presidents, Directors, Captains. Whatever the title, each one makes decisions he feels are best at the time with the current resources and capacity of the organisation. (Yes, authority figures can get on power trips. Sometimes selfish and self-seeking, you’ve seen and heard about abuses of power. Leaders can embezzle money, hurt their parishioners and royally mess up. This is true.) More often, people in high positions are doing their very best and have no intention of hurting people.

As you continue to pursue God through prayer and fasting, think about the leaders in your own life. Think about yourself as a parent, a boss, a volunteer leader. God has allowed them/you to be in those positions. Until you have walked in their shoes, you don’t know all the problems they face. They need your prayers and support just like you need the support of others to shore up your own burden of leadership.

You might be battling a health issue others don’t know about. Your leader’s marriage could be suffering or he may be dealing with difficult children. This private pain isn’t talked about; yet, he gets up each day, carrying the weight of what he leads, using the cards he has been dealt, endeavouring to play his team for the “win.”

Having a Godly perspective of your leaders means admitting God has allowed them to be in their positions; therefore, you trust the Lord to intervene where necessary. Interjecting criticism and disdain, gossip or abandonment doesn’t help leaders lead. It only holds them back and causes them more stress.

*Today, lift up the leaders in your life. Ask God to help you see them through his eyes. Try and find something positive to say if you’re not happy with them. Pray for their families and ask God to show you how you can be a better follower and support. If you’re in a position of leadership, ask God to surround you with the right team who will shore up your weaknesses and help you achieve all that he has in store.